Big Country Russia

Good Day!  You are disturbed by administration of sites of  acquaintances of USA.  You are the member of this group.  One of our members interested in you and we send you the message delivered from MemberName="MiraOldy".  This WOMAN wishes to get acquainted with you.  There is HER message: 

 

"Greetings the stranger, are Written by me to you from the big country of Russia, I have read your profile and you are interesting for me, I see you as a pleasant interlocutor, I wish to et acquainted with you better and to exchange photos and not only.I will be very glad if our relations do not stop on that that we will communicate only on correspondence, I'll be glad to meet you one day. I will tell you a little bit about myself: I'm very nice, sociable and cheerful girl.  I'm 27 years old, growth 169, my yes are brown, hair dark, weight of 54 kg, a sports constitution, I regularly visit fitness the centre to support the figure both to be in shape and to like men.  If you are self-assured and trust that can deserve my attention that write, we will look that will turn out.

Mira."

This spam disturbs me in so many ways.

First, the photo: is that a hairless cat, or a tiny goat?  Are they on the deck of a cruise ship?  Mira, Mira, why tease us like this?

Then: growth 169.  WTF?  Something she developed after Chernobyl?  At least she's sociable.  

Do you think she knows Inna?  And what does it mean that she'll be glad if our relations do not stop and that we will communicate only on correspondance.

And the overseer: yes, I am disturbed by the Administer Of Sites of Acquaintances USA.  Of course I am.  We all are.  Which is why everyone needs a Mira and her hairless goat cat to comfort us with her sports constitution.  All of us.

Oh no!

From: support@intl.paypal.com
Date: May 27, 2008 4:46:39 AM PDT
To: msulchek@sandblast.com
Subject: PayPal Account Suspention
Reply-To: akstcabsonlinemnsdgs@absonline.net

Dear PayPal ® customer,

We recently reviewed your account, and we suspect an unauthorized transaction on your account.
Protecting your account is our primary concern. As a preventive measure we have temporarylimited your access to sensitive information.
Paypal features.To ensure that your account is not compromised, simply hit "Resolution Center" to confirm your identity as member of Paypal.

Login your Paypal with your Paypal username and password.
Confirm your identity as a card member of Paypal.

Please confirm account information by clicking here Resolution Center and complete the "Steps to Remove Limitations."

*Please do not reply to this message. Mail sent to this address cannot be answered.

Copyright © 1999-2008 PayPal. All rights reserved.


You would think that your average enterprising-but-non-English-speaking Pirate Of The Internets would: a) spell check his work ('suspention?' 'temporarylimited'), b) dream up a slightly more realistic return address than akstcabsonlinemnsdgs@absonline.net, which sounds like, hmm, a RUSE.  Plus: grammar.  "Login your Paypal?"  Oh, shiver me timbers.

I like the dreaminess of "Steps to remove limitations," though.  

Now, if only I had a Paypal account.

The End Of Civilization, pt. IX

"I am so glad that Hanes is conquering the dreaded wedgie because it can happen at any time to anyone," Chalke said in a statement. "For my first appearance at the Emmys, which was also my first time on the red carpet, I chose a gorgeous dress, but made a bad underwear selection. There were cameras everywhere so I had no opportunity to fix anything, especially a wedgie. Now I wear my No Ride Up panties because I love how they fit and I don't have to worry about tugging them back into place."

Wong Again

I followed the inscrutable Director of the Hang Seng Bank today, as he left his tryst-nyst sans Inna and headed across town with a mysteriously leaden plastic bag. He took the serpentine route, through the backstreets and market alleys, past the endless stalls and kiosks selling animal parts and blackmarket DVDs and discontinued Thomas The Tank Engine toys, his gait steady, never looking back. The black bag swung from his hand like a talisman. Whatever it contained was too small to be a soccer player's head, if that's what you're thinking, and I was, but we shouldn't be surprised if he'd shrunk it.





My feet ached. I think the knock-off Asics I bought yesterday have cardboard soles. And It ended finally on the gangway stairs of the SS Indefatigable, flying a Turkmanistani flag, seen here in the dazzling nether hours of the harbor.












I was not allowed onboard.

And the next morning, Indefatigable was gone in the fog.

I Want To Say U Hi

Ave, my dear friend!

A beautiful woman is writing you a letter. This woman is me... I will tell you something sad about myself. I am a woman who lost all hopes and dreams to be happy into marriage life. I lost belief into attempts to find my rue Love.

A lot of men deceived me, tried to broke me and hurt me deeply. But I have never given up, I overcome all betrayals, lie and went toward my happiness again and again. But... I am still alone... I am tired to live in lie, to be a beautiful toy into cruel hands of somebody whom I don't love.

I don't know you, but I was frank with you and if you feel that you're a man who is able to love, who is able to make me happy, to cure all scars into my soul. You may expect for sincere and true love of a beautiful, but lonely woman with broken heart where is left some place for true love who can appreciate it.


Kisses

Marishka

Wrong Wong

Peter Wong.

Yeah.

I got your number, mister. Beneficent Efficient Workers Motel, edge of Hong Kong, room 646 (apparently they don't number things by floor, since right next door -- what a surprise -- Inna of Cheboksary. In room number 32).